As I was browsing the tributes to my Uncle Shel on the Facing History website it was obvious that he had impacted so many folks- a large percentage of whom he had only spoken to briefly or never even met. I was thinking how fortunate I was to have him as an integral part of my entire life.

My childhood is full of memories of Uncle Shel since he and Aunt Ellie along with Alison and then, Marina lived just a few towns over from us. I got the attention normally given a son. He even tried to get me to come live with them in South Orange, and he almost got me for a pair of pants and a couple of cardigan sweaters.

He followed and encouraged my athletic and academic endeavors all the while, I believe, remaining focused on my overall development. I remember many long and sometimes contentious discussions of sports and politics. I also remember that he always treated me as an equal in those discussions. Most of them began with him asking what I thought about one thing or another. You might be interested to know that in the early sixties a conclusion reached at the end of one of those discussions was that Henry Aaron would beat Babe Ruth’s home run record. We surmised that LBJ would not run for reelection long before that press conference in March of '68, but we also concluded that Richard Nixon was done with politics in '62.

Then in May of '67 Evan showed up and I had to share my spot on the depth chart. However, the mentoring never ceased and he continued to treat me as his equal.

I had some very rough times and developed some very rough edges, and yet Uncle Shel never gave up on me. He was always there for me. He also helped me understand and was quick to point out that sometimes I just needed to get over myself.

He helped me learn that it is better to learn lessons for myself than it is to be given the answers.

He helped me understand that success is a journey not a destination.
He showed me that what I bring to the table is more important then what I take away.

When my mom was sick, he and Aunt Ellie were there for her and also for me and my family. When I needed a place to lean, he was there and when I needed to be strong, he pointed that out. Speaking of my mom … she was an example of Uncle Shel’s jaded view of those he loved. He used to refer to her as Sweet Anna. She was my mom and I loved her very much, but Sweet was not ever in my top ten words to describe her.

When Jenny was sick, Uncle Shel and Aunt Ellie were there for us. They supplied so much emotional support just by knowing they were willing to help any way they could. Shortly after Jenny finished chemo we came to NY to visit with them and have some fun, yes have fun since Shel and Ellie were always fun to be with. When we went out to dinner one night with the NY Wassermans, he would not let me sit with Jenny since he claimed she needed the uplifting spirit of the Wasserman wives a lot more than she needed my whatever.

Uncle Shel was one of only a handful of people who I ever wanted to be proud of me and a member of an even smaller group whose opinion of me mattered to me. He was the only person who could get me to do anything that I did not want to do.

I don’t know anyone whose life is not better for having known him. He showed us by example the joy of thinking of others first.

My Uncle Shel was always my “go to guy” and I only hope that I can continue his legacy in some small way by being there for people and being a “go to guy” for other folks.

Uncle Shel I will always love you.